The future

Hardly two weeks into my holidays and my mum has been nagging at me to get a job. And she complains at my dad to nag at me to find a job. That's the worst type of behavior I tell you. It's not concern and stress over here, it's called ruining someone's life with words. Isn't it ironic somehow that many parents want their kids to not go out so often and I'm almost getting chased out of the house? Anyhow, her nagging sessions did make me think even more about the unsightly future. So far, I've been pushed to do whatever she wants and she nearly always get her way. Study this. Fine. Go work. Fine. There is little room for negotiation as after all, she's the one that holds the power in the house. While I lament my own pitiful state and existence, I did realise the fact that if I don't start fighting for my own interests, I'm going to end up with nothing at all. I need my luck to be good this year. I need things to go my way. It's really a scary thing, standing at the crossroads, with one end being a precipice and the other being a landslide. There is this other dim-lighted small road which is muddy. Which one to choose? That's my options now. The precipice is settling down with someone. Well, that's why a precipice, there's nobody, option closed. The landslide being to find a job. Where will I be 5 years down the road? I know not. After putting everything into perspective, I came to a conclusion that nope, I don't see myself in healthcare for the rest of my life. Surely I can head down that road but it will be a landslide from there. Dim-lit small road? Take my chances and apply for uni. Which I should have done since 3 years ago. Will I get in? Nobody knows, but I'm sure praying like hell I do. And here my mum is annoying me yet again to go cook my own lunch. Yeah, I can't control when I want to do stuff in the house. I have to wake up at this time, eat at this time, bath at this time, sleep at this time. Get out of the house and start earning my own keep? Easier said than done. Part of me want to open up a cafe or some necessity shop and be done with it. Some insane part of me tells me to do some social work in the meanwhile. Hell I will, I'm like someone that will have to receive help from social work already. Some of me still stuck in the quandary. Another part is looking for a way out. Singapore is being a cruel and harsh place to live in. It's a rat race to the end and I'm losing over here. Damn, I need a hell lot of therapy right.