Ushering in the new year

As people happily await the new year, all I feel is boredom and dread.
2 days left until reality hits and school reopens and the beginning of torturous ordeals through the whole of January in the form of END-SEMESTER EXAMINATIONS.
Argh.

While meeting up with all my old darlings this December, I can perfectly say that I haven't change a bit character-wise, only in appearance and dressing. Well, I think I'm still the persistent, free-spirited but down-to-earth, sometimes lame me, dishing out all types of advice under the sun to different problems that I unknowingly get caught up in and of course, constant reminders that I'm hungry and the pursue for good food and intolerance of irritating and annoying people that I still dislike(it's just so difficult to change my views on them) that shapes me along with many others. And surprisingly, most of my friends haven't change one bit too. Perhaps birds of the same feather do flock together. However,(with mainly stalking of the Facebook timeline and high tea sessions with old timers) it's the people I don't meet that I worry about, many having move on with their lives overseas, and some people who just can't find the time. It's just so difficult to go back to the times where we had fun together, overcoming similar obstacles mainly in the form of friendship and examinations. I guess when Time moves on, people have to too. Some people just need to grow up, get realistic, get hints and get themselves. Not that I'm complaining, they just don't see themselves clearly and sometimes, it does get amusing and frustrating watching them do their thing. That's another part I didn't erase about myself, withdrawing myself to the sidelines and content myself with new understandings of this big bad world that is so real, that it has to lie ever-so-frequently to delude people. It's hard to ignore the sufferings of people who were once so involved in your life. Escape is a hard-to-come-by break and I am still exhausted, mainly from people with no ill intentions but still do so. I probably shouldn't blame them but I can't help fell a tinge of irritation and exasperation at them making my life so eventful in 2011.

My new year resolutions are probably to overcome 2012 with as little events and difficulty as possible. Maybe I should improve myself by being more straight and less diplomatic in speech and thinking, but you never know what may come in handy do you? Of course, another would be being more happy-go-lucky and turn two blind eyes to events that probably do not need my interference. Letting go of so many stuff may seem like cutting off pieces of meat from myself but sometimes, one must cut bad parts from yourself to prevent further rotting. I sometimes think that my character is too much for people of this age to endure and tolerate, and perhaps I am more suitable to live olden times where people are more simple-minded and less cunning. Of course, that may be yet another illusion that I create for myself in my own happy dream world where everything is fine, more predictable and less exhausting. If only I can live in books and dramas that I like. If only indeed. Life will hardly be as demanding as the current one that has evolved into over so many hard years and humans less complicated as the now that they are so proud of. But then again, I'll probably be executed for being smarter than for my own good with frequent slip-ups of my ever-improving control.

Yeah, sometimes it is THAT annoying to know so much, of others and of yourself. Innocence and stupidity is a blessing, despite what some "wise" people (who can hardly be comparable with the likes of highly acclaimed and unanimously agreed ones like Confucius and Sun-Tze and blah blah blah, MEN all of them were, and greatness ever known in them. I think I have been watching too much historical shows this past year.) think. The mistakes of a fool is definitely less so than that of a wise men. Knowledge is indeed a double-edged sword, the acquisition of it is an endless process by fools who seek to improve (or degenerate) their own lives. One will never know until they see their own lives passing before their own eyes, or thoughts (in the figure of truth). We can hardly control comings and passing can we? You need to be a God to do that, and Gods do not take much interest in our mundane mortal affairs. If not, Hell will be even more crowded as we speak, and more people will fall to their own insanity.

At the end of the day, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, feel no evil, know no evil. You'll probably attain Zen-ness in all your endeavors, not that it's not attainable.

With all my babbles, I've gotten hungry again. And I can almost hear all my friends' sighs. Ta-ta~